Stitch fix review number 2

So... I was soooo excited to get this fix I could hardly contain myself! 

I told my stylist I was going to the beach and I pinned stuff to my stitch fix board on Pinterest and I felt she really took both into consideration. All the tops she sent me were warm weather, thin material to help me stay cool this summer! I really appreciated that! 

When I got my fix I tore it open and looked at the card and thought seriously! This is the best fix!! I'm keeping it all, I just know I'm going to love it! Everything she picked was so cute and my style! Amazing how after just one fix that happens. :) 

Here's my style card she sent me: 

Unfortunately, I had to try things out. Let me say this in her defense, in extremely critical of myself so I think that comes into play here as well :) 

She sent me these awesome lace shorts that are made of cotton so I would stay cool along with an elastic waistband, can we say hallelujah!!!!! And then picked out this coral print top to go with them because I had told her on my Pinterest how much I LOVE coral :) 

(Um...er... Excuse my no makeup and crazy hair--but honesty I look like this 90%of the time)

I loved both but I felt there was something about the shorts just a tad bit off and the arms of shirt were a tad big. 

But she totally got me in making sure all my shirts hung off me! Thank you Allison! 

2nd top: 

This navy blue knit tank with really cool wide straps. This shirt is super comfy and I love wide straps! I hate when my bra straps are showing when I'm trying to wear a tank. But all in all it's a basic navy tank. And again for some

 reason the arm holes were a tad big. 

3rd tank:

Also in my Pinterest board I said I like floral, and I do if done right, I feel like this shirt is so right! It's probably my fav. I love  that it's dark, it hangs nice, it's interesting, and so girly with that crocheted bottom! Arm holes on this are a bit big too but not by much. 

4th and final tank: 

I kinda love the color block on this tank and it's made of a silky material. However, the top white section is almost completely see through and I'm not about that life. But other than that I love it. 

So: what do y'all think? What's your favorite? What should I keep? What should I for sure send back? Leave me comments either on here or fb and let me know! I have decisions to make :) 

And if you are interested in scheduling your own fix please use my referral code, I get a credit! I would so appreciate it! https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/4875861

Struggle well and be brave

Brandie 

Stitch fix review

So... I did this totally awesome fun thing! I stitch fixed!!

I consider myself pretty frugal and usually shop only off the clearance rack. However, I have been scouring the internet learning what I can about capsule wardrobes. I am not a super fashionable person (like I would wear my pjs everywhere if it was acceptable) but I WANT to be fashionable! A capsule wardrobe is the idea that you have a limited number of things per season in your closet and it has to be things you LOVE! This is the best way to figure out what YOUR style is. And then you decide what you need to add to it for the upcoming or current season.

So I decided I wanted to do this, but I wanted to have quality pieces. Enter stitch fix --> I'm terrible about picking things out that actually look good and fit on my body. Like seriously I tried on 9 pairs of jeans at nordstrom rack the other day and still walked away without a pair of jeans. I have seen review after review of people doing stitch fix and getting well fitting jeans the first time. I figured I would give it a shot and you can do it up to once a month or as infrequent as you like. You pay $20 for your stylist fee, you fill out a stylist profile, they pair you with a stylist, they handpick things just for you and then ship it to you. You try it on, and then they send you a postage paid envelope to ship back the things you don't like. If you decide you want to keep anything your $20 fee applies towards the cost of the items. Completely risk free!

It was so fun and exciting! I couldn't wait to see what my stylist had picked out for me!

The box comes all packaged up so pretty!

It includes a note from my stylist, A postage paid envelope, and card that shows you how to use the items they send. 

The first item they sent me was this layering necklace. I'm not huge on accessories but I did try it on just to make sure! (That's me being open to possibilities) 

She sent me this striped layering tee and cargo type vest. Since I'm picking items for my spring capsule I chose not to keep this layering tee (you know since I live in Texas) and I didn't love the way I looked in the tee alone. I thought the horizontal stripes made me look wide. She sent me the vest as a way to camoflauge the tummy and while it worked and did make me appear longer it was just a tad too small to actually button. 

Let's talk about how much I LOVE this pink shirt. But it was also a tad too small (and I was SOOO sad). I did however keep the jeans I tried on. While they are something I would have NEVER picked out for my self (they remind me of granny jeans) they made my rear look better than I think it normally does and they were so comfortable! 

So there you have it! My fix. 

I can't wait until the change of season (that's when I'll update my capsule) to have another fix sent! 

If you want to fill out a style profile and help this momma out with some fix credit (for you using this link to sign up) please do that here: 

https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/4875861

Remember be brave and struggle well

Brandie 

He just needs a friend.

" She has a daughter also with Downs. Non verbal, I think she is 6. Play date possibly?"

This was a response I saw on a Facebook post. It sparked some thought in me. The lady that originally posted also has a non verbal girl with Down syndrome. I thought two girls that can't talk "playing" together. Where's the benefit? To me, it seems like that's a meet up more for the moms to bounce ideas off each other and feel a little less lonely in the world as far as being a parent to a special needs kiddo goes. But with the amazing abilities of social media you can join Facebook groups that do that same thing.

The lady that posted the reply meant well. But as a parent of a special needs kiddo I can tell you that while I welcome play dates with other special needs kids, I have found that most of the time special needs kids don't always react the way you would expect when placed with another special needs kiddo. Many times it compounds the issue. What I mean is that special needs kids many times are still trying to figure out the world in their heads, it's confusing to them. They get used to how the nuero-typical world works and then you throw a wrench in the system.  Many times they understand their issues but they don't understand others.

I would love and welcome play dates from nuero-typical kids that have been taught tolerance and acceptance. That go out of the way to see that they are literally changing a life. I would love to see parents showing their kids what that looks like.

I remember a few years ago we had gone to Hawaiian Falls waterpark and I had bought some cushy water balls to take with us to play with. Cade was in the water trying to convince Addie to play with him, but she wanted to do her own thing. Along come two preteen boys. At first I was a little concerned. What were this little punks were gonna do (because all teenagers are up to no good, right?) and then, they started playing with Cade and his toys. I'll be honest I kinda thought they would decide to play "keep away" from him and I would have to intervene and help him. But then my faith in teenagers was restored as they were letting Cade throw the balls to them and then giving then back to him. It was such a sweet moment for me as a mom and they totally made his day! They asked me if Cade could go different places with them and while I was a little skeptical as to WHY these boys would want to hang out with Cade I allowed them to take him and explained some of his challenges. They were so sweet. I tried to buy them ice cream and cotton candy, they would not let me. I told them how much they had blessed me, they told me it was no big deal and really nothing special. It was truly what Cade needed, he needed friends, he needed someone that could recognize he was different and then give him grace. There are times that special needs kids just can't extend grace to each other. That takes reasoning skills they often times don't have.

I also remember one time Addie's kindergarten teacher brought her to the car at pickup. She explained that Addie was so good at befriending one little boy in particular. He was in regular classes but had some "issues" that caused many kids to not like him or want to play with him. Not Addie! She tolerated him, she accepted him. The teacher said if he hit her, she would just hit him back and they would continue playing. It just worked. I might have cried! I just looked at her with huge tears in my eyes and thanked her for being nice to a boy that no one else wanted to be friends with. Thanked her for showing him what a real friend looked like. It was a sweet moment.

But I can't say that I would have always encouraged that. There was a time in my life where people with special needs kinda frightened me. I'm sure much of that was out of fear that I wouldn't know what to do if something happened. I also know that those with neurological disorders can be volatile and I never wanted to place myself in a situation where i didn't know what to do. So God made me a mom. Of a special boy. Life is unpredictable. What will upset him is unpredictable. And you just roll with the punches.

Id like to teach my kids to love special friends better than I did, or better than I knew how. I would like to instill in them understanding for what other people are going through or how they are feeling (sometimes I really struggle here too) and I would like them to know that sometimes just being a friend in that moment might change someone's whole day!

So sometimes what I really need is for my special needs kiddo to be able to play with nuero-typical kids and them know and understand he has challenges. That he may say or do something that seems odd. That he might want to play weird things. But for today, he just needs a friend.

Stevie Rae King’s Journey Earthside

I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions since I was about 18 weeks. I realized that I would have them when I needed to go to the bathroom.  Aaron and I had gotten into a bad habit of going to bed semi-early and staying up very late watching TV. On June 21^st it was business as usual.  I started having “Braxton hicks” at about 12:45am and I ventured to the potty. I got back in bed and realized, even after emptying my bladder I was still having them. I started timing them. Ten minutes apart. Aaron came to bed about 1:15-1:30am and I told him, “Just so you know, I think I’m in labor”, his reply, “Oh Great !”. I told him to try and get some sleep and I kept timing them. After timing them for an hour and realizing they were, in fact, very regular, I text my midwives (Donnellyn and Lizzie). I tend to have babies very fast and wanted them to know I was in labor. They recommended taking a warm bath and seeing what my contractions did. So I did. After I got out of the bath I couldn’t really feel them and they were very irregular. I text them back and told them I was going to try and get some sleep. My biggest fear in choosing the birthing center was that I wouldn’t make it there on time (It’s about 45 minutes away with no traffic). I did finally drift off to sleep about 3am. At 4:07 I woke up! My contractions were very much contractions and not Braxton hicks, but not painful, but they were 4 minutes apart. I decided I would take another bath and see what happened. After my bath/shower they were irregular but hurting some. I thought I would try and watch a movie and just wait it out. About 5:15 they were hurting more but still irregular, about 2-5 minutes apart), I decided that I would text my midwives, and wake up Aaron.

It was the plan that we would take the girls to Aaron’s parent’s house and that Cade would go to the Birth Center and hang with Papo (Scott) while we had the baby. I had text my mom earlier at about 1:30am to let her know I was in labor and hadn’t gotten a reply. Aaron had text his parents about 2:00am and also had no reply. Now that it was go-time, we tried calling. Since I have never gone into labor that early in the morning, and because all the kids were sleeping, I thought it would be best that Aaron’s parents come to our house until the girls woke up. Aaron called and called, no answer, I called my mom, no answer. What the heck was going on! I started to panic because my contractions were really starting to hurt and all I could think was I wasn’t going to make it. I think it’s possible my midwives started panicking for me as well! Aaron decided he would drive to his parents house and wake them up. I called Scott’s phone waking him up. He in his groggy sleep mode handed the phone to my mom, who realized very quickly, as I was having trouble talking through contractions, that it was go-time, and they were on their way over! I was home with three kids, alone, in serious labor! It was intense! I gathered all my things together, and I sat down, my midwives told me to lay down and not get up, not even to pee!!! My car had NO gas and Aaron was going to go put gas in it, at this time his mom was almost to our house and just suggested we take her car since it was full! About the time that his mom pulled up, Cade woke up, and my parents pulled up, we threw shoes on him, loaded the car, and we were OFF!! I was still timing my contractions and while they hurt they were still very irregular, 3-7 minutes apart.

Aaron was so funny! On the drive he was getting cut off by people everywhere, it was like they knew I was having a baby and it would be funny if we didn’t make it. At the airport (we drove through) he chose a lane with no cars and at the last minute someone jumped in front of him, he rolled down the window and was saying, “PREGNANT WIFE, WE GOTTA GO!!” We finally arrived at the Birth Center at about 6:30am and I hadn’t had a baby in the car! Yay! As soon as I arrived they took me into an exam room and checked progress, I was at a 6! Donnellyn was surprised and thought that maybe I was at a 3. After that, I went to the birthing suite I had chosen. It was in my opinion, the most private, yet still large suite. It’s the suite that when I first saw the birthing center, I wanted to birth in. I changed into a dress, and they brought me a cup of Red Rasberry Leaf tea. I had been drinking red raspberry leaf tea for some time; however this cup was particularly strong. Aaron and Mandie were sitting next to me in some recliners. We were chatting with my midwives about previous deliveries. I took a couple large gulps of my tea as we were talking. A couple minutes later I looked over at Lizzie and said, “I don’t feel good, this is making me sick” one of the assistants went to go get me a bowl, but before she could get back I got sick, I tried to hold it in, but instead it went everywhere, and unfortunately all over my sister, who was sitting next to me. Fortunately, it was JUST TEA so it wasn’t terrible, but I felt so bad

After that, I walked some around the birth center. Donnellyn applied some essential oils and then I got in the tub they had prepared for me.  My contractions were pretty intense but spread out for varying amounts of time… I felt like it was taking forever. With both of my other girls they broke my water and in 20 minutes I was having a baby. This time we were going to let my water break on it’s own. I stayed in the tub for a while, but seemed more relaxed and contractions were slowing so I got out and they made me do this thing that Donnellyn likes to call “tilt a whirl” I had to lay on one side for two contractions, get on all fours for two contractions, and then the other side for two contractions. Aaron and I were both very tired so we laid down for a bit, but I, of course, couldn’t sleep so we decided to do some homeopathic remedies to get things going. These worked like a charm. I was taking them every ten minutes. I sat on the birthing ball and rocked back and forth and breathed through contractions, trying to really take in my music that was playing in those moments. I always had my worst contractions on the potty, and I was using the potty quite often. I stood up to go potty and realized I had some bloody show and then more when I used the potty. I had never had that before being that I was always in the bed birthing in 20 minutes after my water broke. They could tell my contractions were harder and so they asked if I wanted back in the water. I said yes, and they filled it up for me! I laid there and had several more contractions; they were hard, but manageable.  I remember my mom telling me how great I was doing and how peaceful I seemed, and truly it felt that way! I remember one time saying,” I feel like I don’t want to do this anymore”. While I was in the tub I remember actually feeling her head go down. It was so strange, she moved and within minutes I told my midwife that I thought I needed to use the restroom again. I got out to do that and when I tried to go realized I didn’t need to go potty, I needed to push.  I finished my contraction on the potty and then got back in the tub, they called everyone in the room. I only pushed for four minutes. On the last two pushes she literally SHOT OUT like a rocket! Aaron said it was the strangest thing; she was not there, and then there. It was also the most painful part of her birth! Donnellyn said that she’s not seen anyone try and crab walk their way out of a tub, but I was just trying to escape the pain. On the next contraction she was born in water. I pulled her up on my chest as far as I could get her; she had a very short cord. I didn’t even care what she was at that point just that she was born, and she was mine! I did look and announced, “It’s a girl”. She was perfect and precious! We got out of the tub and into the bed to deliver the placenta which took what seemed like FOREVER (45 mins). In that time she nursed and her cord finished pulsating and was cut. We then took an herbal bath together to help aide healing for me and lung function and health for baby!  After wards I showered and then we took baby to bed while they did a newborn exam. She was 7lbs 8oz and 20” long! She was extremely passive, something I felt she was in utero as well.  We then dressed her, packed her up and home we went! I loved being able to go home to rest! It was an amazing experience! By far the best birth experience I’ve ever had!

 Stevie's Birth Video

Being a Peaceful Reactor

I hope that it goes without saying that I LOVE my children! I do! But I have a really huge problem (well more than one, but one for this blog) I'm an explosive reactor. I mean that I react to them sometimes in an explosive manner. I try very hard to be as patient as possible, but when I've told you five times to do the same thing, I just reach a boiling point and "patient mom" has suddenly turned into "screaming mom". Sometimes I don't even become "patient mom" I go straight to "screaming mom". I'm only instilling negative things into my children this way. Fear is one of them. The other is teaching them it's okay for people to treat them this way, and that it's normal behavior.

Fear- My kids never know what to expect of me. Is mom going to be mad? Is mom gonna yell? I want my kids to know the truth, there is NOTHING they could EVER do to make me love them less. My love only grows. I want them to feel like they can tell me anything, even if I don't like it. I don't want them to ever believe I hate the mess more than I love them.

It's okay for people to treat me this way- NO! It's not. These are the most precious little people in my life. If they are then I should treat them the best, set the standard on how others should treat them. Instead I'm teaching them that thier feelings aren't valid, that thier voice doesn't matter, that no matter what they should just do what they are told. I instead want them to know that they are important, everything they think, feel, say, it matters and it's important. That they are essential! That they should always trust thier instincts even if it goes against what someone told them.

Normal Behavior- I don't want them to think this is how people should behave. That my explosive behavior is normal. Gosh, I have so many hang ups, this is one I REALLY don't want to pass on to my kids. I realize that my behavior is childish, and immature. I want my kids to be better than me, and better than what is normal. I want to set the standard higher.

One of my new life goals, to be a peaceful reactor. I see articles all the time talking about how you should be a non reactive parent, and I don't feel like this is the key either. I feel like we should react just in a kind and gentle way. I'm a controller by nature, and the same is true when it comes to my children. I, of course, try and be the best mom I can be, and at times I think this makes me even more volatile because my kids never really know what to expect. I want to quit controlling them (or trying to) and be guiding and teaching.

I don't want to just tell my kids that they are loved, I want them to know it, to feel it. I want them to have good memories of their momma. I know that kids are forgiving and even if you have terrible parents we almost always instinctively love them. I don't want my kids to instinctively love me, I want to LOVE them with ALL MY MIGHT! I want to create these super well adjusted, Christ-loving adults. I feel like I'm teaching them that God is an explosive reactor, that when we don't please Him, He's angry! And My God is not like that. I want them to know the truth because I have shown them that.

Please be praying with me, that I can be ALL my kids need me to be. Their needs will be met, but I want them to be emotionally whole. I want to be better!

Be brave and Struggle Well...

Brandie :)

Lusting after another man...

With the explosion of 50 Shades of Grey it seems that women lusting over men has become a little more "normal" than it used to be. When Magic Mike came out and the book 50 Shades of Grey,  I re posted this blog. I have used this point of view to try and steer my self in a respectful direction. I won't lie, Magic Mike was playing on my movie channels not to long ago and I was home with just Laynie, and was tempted. But I didn't watch it. Why? because if my husband were to watch a movie based on female strippers, it would bother me.

My goal in my marriage is to do for Aaron what I want Aaron to do for me. That means keeping my mind purely focused on him. Does this mean that I don't see an attractive man and acknowledge that God did a good job making him? No! People are attractive. And when my husband acknowledges that a woman is pretty we usually discuss if I feel the same way. But hearing things like "she's so hott" or other phrases that might be used, makes me feel less. Makes me feel like somehow because I don't look that way, I am not fulfilling what he needs as far as looks go. Most of these thoughts come from my own insecurity, but when my husband makes me feel like I'm the hottest woman on the planet, the only woman he's drooling over, it does something to me! It makes me feel confident, appreciated, unstoppable!

I want to do that for Aaron. I don't think he struggles with confidence or looks, the way I do. But I still want him to feel respected or appreciated. Like I think he's a hunk (which I totally do). But if I'm posting pictures of half naked men on my facebook, how can that possible make him feel like he's the only man for me. Not to mention that I believe that looking at these images sets you up to compare your man, to a man that's not yours. That's someone else's man, what if another woman was looking at your man the way you are looking at that man.

I realize that many men struggle with porn addiction. Maybe you are in that type of relationship and you have convinced yourself that looking at half naked men, isn't as bad as what he's doing. Maybe you openly watch that together? Maybe you think all men do, so you accept it. (They don't, and it's not healthy.) Justifying what you are doing, doesn't make it right. The grass is never greener. A better looking man doesn't guarantee he would be what you need. If you do it because he does, two wrongs don't make a right. And are you being accountable to yourself? or to God? And in most cases your obsessing over a celebrity you will never have. Why? and what is the cost?

To me- the cost is that you are disrespecting your relationship which later can/will cause issues. Maybe they say they don't have an issue with it, but how much better would it be if you only had eyes for him? I'm not judging anyone, because I realize lusting over beautiful people is normal in this day and age, that to most there is nothing wrong with it. But to me we (As Christians) are to be set apart. We are held to a higher standard. We need lasting marriages, lasting relationships, we need to be the example. We need to show society what it is to bounce our eyes, and be content with the person we have.

I also think having a pure mind is a huge part of our Christian walk. It's so hard to have a pure mind. It's so easy to go there, because we are constantly bombarded with images. But as women, when you set it in a 50 shades of Grey setting, all the sudden you compare what he does versus what your man is doing. It's the same when a man views porn and thinks that's what sex should be like. It's not realistic and it creates disappointment within your relationship. Your partner is not meeting your expectations.

All I'm saying is this, Lets be women that have eyes only for our men. Let's be women that fantasize about just our man. Learn to love every single curve of your man's body versus someone you can never have. I want my husband to feel respected, and honestly, when you have 3 kids (and one one the way) it's easy to complain, it's easy to not be happy when you see him come home, It's easy to be upset that he didn't help you, or that he didn't meet your expectations, and you don't even mean to. Aaron complained one time that I didn't smile and act happy when he got home, and I thought are you freaking kidding me, do you know what I go through all day everyday? And I of course have done my best to fix that, but there are days that I'm exhausted and I don't make that extra effort, so if one thing I can do is to tell you how hott my husband is to me, and how I only fantasize about being with him, and how I'm so thankful I have a good looking husband, and that's all I can do to make him feel acknowledged, appreciated, and respected, then that's what I want to do.

I want to live my life in a way that is above reproach. I will fail. There will be things that I do that would make someone think, "really, Brandie, you're a Christian", but this is one area I chose to be different. God is still working on me, we are all a work in progress, but I feel VERY convicted in this area, and I wanted you to see what I think. Take it or leave it, no judgement :)

Be Brave and Struggle Well...

Brandie :)

When people clump it into the "ALL" category....

I have seen several posts lately about people being sick after getting their flu shots...

A friend of one of these sick people blamed their flu shot, another person commented saying they got their flu shot as well, but they weren't sick. This seems so DUH... to me, but apparently people think if one person gets sick from a source then we all must right?

Our bodies are amazing, and amazingly made. Our bodies have the absolute ability, given the right circumstances, to heal itself. If you cut your finger, what do you do? You clean it out, stick a band-aid on it, and try and keep it as clean and dry as possible so that it miraculously heals. Right? What heals it, you? No, it heals itself. Take that same finger, don't clean it, don't bandage it, and it may or may not heal, and it may or may not get infected and get worse.

I remember when Cade was in ICU. He had been aspirating his food, due to a condition he had. His lungs were full of formula, creating bacteria and infection. They placed him on a respirator and said that his body needed to rest. In children especially, their bodies get to a point they just quit. They wanted to give his body a break from trying to breathe so that he could heal.

Different circumstances create different makeup of immune systems. So if one person gets a flu shot there is a chance that due to lack of rest and nutrients that you could get very ill. It's not fair to lump it all together and say well I did that too and it was fine... I drove my car yesterday and didn't get in an accident but other people did. I took different streets and different times, my brain might have been thinking clearer and able to react better (probably not), who knows?

I think this applies to so much of our lives, not just our flu shots or vaccinations (although I absolutely think this is true for vaccinations as well). But what about our Spiritual lives? It's so easy to look for a formula, it's so easy to say well I do this, and this, and this every day and it works for me. The Bible is so Spiritual, the "Christian formula" is so unique to each person, where they are, what they have been through. It's amazing all the interpretations of Scripture that we get, it's amazing how we can read one Scripture one day, read the same Scripture the next week and interpret what we feel like it's saying completely different. Why-- because it's ministering to where we are in our journey, at that very moment. I recently read an article about Joel Olsteen and basically this article was defending him in that he saves more people than many other pastors combined in one night. I am not a Joel Olsteen fan (I don't think that's a secret), but to each his own, and you have to do what's right for you. I think he can be an encouragement to your life if that's where you are and what you need. But I wonder if "saying the prayer" isn't enough. How many of those saved are getting saved with the "feel good Gospel" and when things get tough and hurt and feel icky are they still going to stick with it. Not saying there aren't many he plants seed in, and good for him! I'm just saying the "Joel Olsteen Formula" might not work for everyone because we are all different. Churches the same way. You may love your church, it might not be the right "formula" for me.

In the same way, the sin you struggle with is different than what I struggle with. I know some people stuggle with addiction to drugs, I have never done any kind of drug in my life, but I really struggle with self control (when it comes to diet and money). It would be foolish to say I have to not go to the mall and try my best to keep sweets out of my house, so you should too, so that you don't struggle with my sin.

What about our marriages? Recently I heard the advice (from a married couple of over 30 years), given to a married couple that were in a disagreement, to just not talk about it and it would go away. That has obviously worked for this couple. They both seem perfectly content in their marriage. But I can tell you that advice wouldn't work for me and my marriage. I feel like if you have a problem, and you can talk through a solution, then it's never an issue you have to deal with again. When it happens again, you already know the solution to the problem. Maybe talking through things doesn't work for everyone. So many times we pass judgement on people that don't take our advice (especially if we are older) because it didn't work for us so it can't work for anyone, right?

God loves diversity, I'm sure of it. If we were all the same we would be so boring. If we all thought the same way, did the same things, reacted the exact same way to issues, had the same jokes, we would never appreciate each other. Wouldn't it be beautiful if we just celebrated the differences instead of judging one another for being different? What if in your marriage, you began to celebrate how your spouse is different than you, and how you balance each other? What if in our spiritual lives we just celebrated growth vs what the regime we were following is?

I can only imagine if we would quit lumping things into the "all" category, how much better it could be.