Saturday, August 3, 2013

Breastfeeding and my husband....and yours.

I don't think it's any secret that I'm kinda "crunchy".  Okay so I'm not an extremist but I definately have crunchy tendancies... that who knows, if I keep writing, might come out more and more.  One of the things that crunchy mommas do is breastfeed. I feel like unfortunately breastfeeding is like most crunchy topics and you have to be "extreme" one way or the other. Well, I'm not and I'd like to tell you why, and how it relates to my husband, and yours.

 It is National Breastfeeding Month with all kinds of organizations putting together "latch on's" and pretty much anything that promotes breastfeeding and just yesterday I found this article posted on a facebook group that I'm part of. They were up in arms about how this was just WRONG. I'd like to disect it a little more. I also, not to long ago, had a friend on fb post how "disgusting" she thought a mom breastfeeding in church was. I was appalled by this statement.

I absolutely 100% believe that breastfeeding is the BEST thing for your baby and that if you choose to breastfeed you should be able too, wherever you would like. Texas State Laws protect this right, and lots of other rights to breastfeeding moms, and I'm so thankful for that! I absolutely love the State of Texas! :) Breastfeeding from the breast has tons of great benefits to mom and baby. Not to mention it's the way God made us. It's the purpose and function of the breast. Our society has over sexualized breasts and therefore seeing a boob feeding a baby, just freaks us out. Why, I'm not really sure, since we can see them just about every other way and think that's totally normal. 

The situation in Burleson arose because of the children that were there ages 5-12, they were hosting a day camp. One mom was feeding her baby outside the entrance, and one right inside the entrance. I can't say for sure about the first mom, but I can say the second mom was not showing much. Part of me completely and 100% understands the mom's point of view, It's hot, your baby needs to be fed, and they did offer them a private room, but if they have other children that's not feasible (one of the mom's daughters was going to a dance class).The only part of this article I have a HUGE problem with is thier wording... "The city did not attempt to prohibit breastfeeding and we fully support the freedom of mothers to breastfeed as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's freedom"". What feedom is it that I don't have to be exposed to a breastfeeding mom, or a half naked woman for that matter. I'd like to envoke that right when I walk through the mall, or go to the waterpark, just saying. And how about the mom, that said it was "disgusting" to breastfeed at church. What is disgusting about feeding your child? I wish that we supported each other a little better. I don't think formula is "good" for our kids. Have you read the label on an Enfamil can the FIRST ingredient is Corn Syrup Solids. But I have fed Enfamil, Similac, and Earth's Best formula to 2/3 kids... I still think formula feeding is disgusting but I also realize that sometimes it's  best given our situation. So back to the question what is disgusting? The fact that it was at church? I'm unclear? Where should she have gone?

However, I then think about boobs. My husband loves them! As I think most men do. They are wired in a way to be turned on by them (In america, at least). Are they perverts? I don't think so. Are there perverts? Absolutely! But my husband is just a normal guy. I don't believe most breastfeeding moms go out to show off thier goods, I mean, they aren't just letting them hang out.. (although i do feel some do, just to prove a point). We are in no way TRYING to draw attention to ourselves. We are definatlely not flaunting it, because in my opinion there is NOTHING sexy about breastfeeding... NOTHING! However, it still doesn't change who my husband is, or yours.

I'm not currently breastfeeding (although i so wish I was) but I plan to breastfeed again at some point. And let me tell you why I chose to be covered even in 100 degree weather. Because it's modest. Because I don't have to worry about just a regular guy looking at what I have, versus what his wife has... I'm not saying that in any way it's better, or that they WANT to look. As a matter of fact my husband has been in the presence of a woman and her husband who met him somewhere, and she got out of her truck openly breastfeeding, no cover. When I asked him what he did, he said, "I just didn't look down". I think this is how most married men react. They aren't oogling. But as my husbands wife, I don't want him to even be tempted and/or inadvertenly see another woman. And so in order to "do unto others" I choose to cover up in public. My youngest daughter wouldn't feed under a blanket, there were many times I fed in the car (becuase it was easier), but i would cover up to latch her on and then strategically tuck the blanket around so you couldn't see anything. Just to add that extra protection. Were there times I probably flashed someone, I'm sure. But I was never just out there. Why? because I wish more women did that for my husband.

Do I think breastfeeding is wonderful? yes! Do I think you should be able to do it on demand without embarrassment? Absolutely! Do I wish breastfeeding was "normalized"? you bet! But the truth is, we live in America, where boobs are sexual objects. Where men want to see them any way they can. This isn't Africa where it's so normal they walk around topless so much of the time. We have been taught they are sexual, and becuase of this, I don't believe we can deny that they ARE sexual. Does that mean they should be? I don't think so, but it is! Breastfeeding advocates say that the only way to "normalize it" is for more of us to not cover up, and while that might be true. I'm just not there. I feel like not only is it kind of disrespectful to my husband (I wouldn't want him showing off his goodies) but I also feel like it's disrespectful to you, the wife of someone or the mother of a teenage boy. As women, I don't feel its inappopriate to openly, without cover. breastfeed. I mean, we all have the same equiptment right? But in public, in front of men, boys, adolescents. I think it changes the senario.

I just think there is something respectful, modest, and honoring about being discreet.


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